Well it has been a while since I last took time to write but let me further my free fall with some holiday banter. Christmas has come and gone and minus a few thousand dollars all is back to normal in the world. But I wanted to reflect on the concept of what Christmas is and why it was so much better when I was young. Call it blissful ignorance but when I was a kid I lived for Christmas. What could be better than coming together with those you loved and giving those you care about gifts as tokens of your love…plus getting some for yourself is always great too.
But the older I have gotten it all has lost its spectacular dazzle and is now more of a dread then a joy. Why? I guess I just care too much about how it should be; those who I grew up with and loved so dearly aren’t close anymore…like silhouettes of their former selves ruined by time (or the lack thereof) and their own flaws. Why do we get so caught up in the every day things of life that we fail to remember the true meaning of Christmas…spending time with one another and showing each our love…and it is a principle of how we should live everyday not just once a year.
Still we don’t get it, we run around acting like we care but in truth we are too busy. And how can we say we care when we place so many other things in greater importance than those we love? Such a sad state we all become and thus the things which are symbols of what we really should be are lost to us. I mean it is hard enough to get my immediate family together much less all the others. I guess I just live in a dream world where things like family and spending time together is something all should care about. Sure as we grow each of us will start our own new families and maybe this is all such a drag because I haven’t started my own. I just guess I long for those better days when everyone I cared about was still there. But I don’t fault them as my lack of effort and busy schedule are just as much the real problem.
At least I have found the person I will spend my life with, even with my flaws she loves me and won’t leave me…crazy I know. But maybe I am in the middle of the storm, catching a moment to gain perspective and then heading into my own little world again with new faces and a fresh outlook. Hopefully.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
My Unattainable Nirvana
Well, I have continued my sickly state of being this year with yet another round of something that just won’t go away (Is very tired of being sick). Anyway, I have been into a lot lately, I finished an old wallpaper and just need to submit it around but I haven’t had the time. I also did another vector, Ulquiorra Schiffer from Bleach. I so love that anime! The character design is just right up my alley. It makes me happy as I am starting to get the hang of things and really feel like I am making some ground way in the world of graphic design.
Anyway I also have been working on the gallery system but it is just one problem after another. Mainly with the menu, I keep getting it to the point I think I am done and very happy with it but then I notice some other little quirk and it is back to the drawing board. At this rate I will never finish it. None the less I am learning and getting good practice at it. I need to ask the site owner how to get the MySql database installed on the server so I can start the coding aspect of things. But soon enough, egh?
My personal finances aren’t getting any better, not that I am drowning…just not making it to the point of getting out of debt like I would like to. So back to a new job with better pay! But it is hard looking for a better paying job, especially when I feel I need much more experience than I currently have. Life is just blah sometimes. But I am going to do a phone interview today so maybe something good will come out of it. Problem is that it is another finance job and I am looking to get OUT of the finance world…>_<
Whatever, my post is entitled “My Unattainable Nirvana” since I just have this feeling Nirvana is much too far away and unattainable at the moment. Really I am feeling like my perfect state of being is just never going to happen. I am never going to reach where I want to be…does that make me stupid for trying? Sometimes I think so.
Falling down the rabbit hole with weights on my back.
Anyway I also have been working on the gallery system but it is just one problem after another. Mainly with the menu, I keep getting it to the point I think I am done and very happy with it but then I notice some other little quirk and it is back to the drawing board. At this rate I will never finish it. None the less I am learning and getting good practice at it. I need to ask the site owner how to get the MySql database installed on the server so I can start the coding aspect of things. But soon enough, egh?
My personal finances aren’t getting any better, not that I am drowning…just not making it to the point of getting out of debt like I would like to. So back to a new job with better pay! But it is hard looking for a better paying job, especially when I feel I need much more experience than I currently have. Life is just blah sometimes. But I am going to do a phone interview today so maybe something good will come out of it. Problem is that it is another finance job and I am looking to get OUT of the finance world…>_<
Whatever, my post is entitled “My Unattainable Nirvana” since I just have this feeling Nirvana is much too far away and unattainable at the moment. Really I am feeling like my perfect state of being is just never going to happen. I am never going to reach where I want to be…does that make me stupid for trying? Sometimes I think so.
Falling down the rabbit hole with weights on my back.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Where have I been?
Ok so like I am way too busy for my own good here lately…I mean I can’t even find time to update this thing anymore :( None-the-less here I is! I had my 1 year anniversary with my lovely girlfriend on the 17th and then her 19th B-Day on the 23rd on top of all the other crazy busy things in my life! I bought her a nice little diamond bracelet and took her to see “The Crucible.” She likes plays and I do as well so it was a good fit, she really wants to see the “Phantom of the Opera” at the Majestic Theater in New York. At this point that is a little out of my price range and since we couldn’t spend the night…very pricey. Hopefully one day though!
Anyway, I have this big EDI (Electronic Data Interchange) project I have been working on my job for IDK like 6-9 months and have finally reached the point I am testing the final leg of it. Hopefully we will be “live” with it in October ^_^ Unfortunately, I will be move right into the next really big project and it proves to really test my knowledge and limits…blah, lol. I do want a new job and if I can get some free time I will get one. Not that I don’t like where I am, it is just that I am underpaid and disagree with some of the moves that company is making as a whole. With it being in textiles…not a good outlook in terms of staying power either.
The gallery project is coming along slowly but surely hopefully I can find some time to work on it this weekend. I want to get the database up and going and transferred to the server. From there I can start on the coding aspects. For now I have done a little bit in terms of GFX for the different gallery sections but the coding is going to be the challenging part. With so many things to code…going to be interesting!
Till next time…me keeps falling down the rabbit hole!
Anyway, I have this big EDI (Electronic Data Interchange) project I have been working on my job for IDK like 6-9 months and have finally reached the point I am testing the final leg of it. Hopefully we will be “live” with it in October ^_^ Unfortunately, I will be move right into the next really big project and it proves to really test my knowledge and limits…blah, lol. I do want a new job and if I can get some free time I will get one. Not that I don’t like where I am, it is just that I am underpaid and disagree with some of the moves that company is making as a whole. With it being in textiles…not a good outlook in terms of staying power either.
The gallery project is coming along slowly but surely hopefully I can find some time to work on it this weekend. I want to get the database up and going and transferred to the server. From there I can start on the coding aspects. For now I have done a little bit in terms of GFX for the different gallery sections but the coding is going to be the challenging part. With so many things to code…going to be interesting!
Till next time…me keeps falling down the rabbit hole!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
New Day, New Project
Ok, so it has been like FOREVER since I updated this thing…life is just so darn busy. I am finishing up all my outstanding projects for my Uncle’s company Thursday. I will be so very glad to be done! But crazy little old me doesn’t know how to take a break so I am jumping right into the next one s_s
This will be an awesome opportunity for me and hopefully it will go much better than my last side job. <_< Basically I love web design and am really big into starting to work in the field. My passion at the moment is Anime…put the two together and bam! Happiness! Now don’t get me wrong I don’t have the time to run a site…but I have this site I have been on forever and just talked the owner into allowing me the opportunity to try and upgrade the gallery! Ding Ding Ding! Jackpot! …However not all is perfect in wonderland. This is a big undertaking and there are very serious issues to over come.
The site uses a “bought” package for the “forum” and a separate “bought” package for the gallery. The gallery system pulls from the forum one and then processes the updated information back to the forum (for select cases).
To achieve the results I want out of the gallery I will have to use the gallery package as a reference and basically remake it without copyright infringing upon or voiding the current gallery system…that isn’t too bad or hard…but here is where things get icky.
For the new system to work with my “perfect” vision…I will need to fully integrate it into the forum system. Where this is an issue is in 2 things. First do we void our warranty, support or copyright infringe upon the forum system if we mod it? Second when we go to upgrade the forum to the latest version…will our gallery still work :/
The answer to the first one is no, they fully support modding of their product as long as you are stating it is a “plug-in” and not claiming the board as your own work. Ok not much of an issue.
The second is maybe, if they change major functions, database structures or the upgrade refreshes (over writes the old one) the code for the forum then we have to reapply all the changes for the gallery to still function.
That would require loads of work each time we upgrade and the owner is going to want to upgrade! The alternative would be to custom write the forum as well and well lets just say that isn’t an option…at all.
On to blurred vision, lol.
Basically I write the gallery to be a separate system much like it is now…I just have to write the gallery pages and tables to calculate much of the same information as the forum already has and then send updates to the gallery database…leaving as much as possible in the gallery system…this makes things a bit harder but it will still work. I will still need to update the main forum tables but not have to touch the code behind the pages.
I dunno, we will see how it goes… till then more free falling now the rabbit hole.
This will be an awesome opportunity for me and hopefully it will go much better than my last side job. <_< Basically I love web design and am really big into starting to work in the field. My passion at the moment is Anime…put the two together and bam! Happiness! Now don’t get me wrong I don’t have the time to run a site…but I have this site I have been on forever and just talked the owner into allowing me the opportunity to try and upgrade the gallery! Ding Ding Ding! Jackpot! …However not all is perfect in wonderland. This is a big undertaking and there are very serious issues to over come.
The site uses a “bought” package for the “forum” and a separate “bought” package for the gallery. The gallery system pulls from the forum one and then processes the updated information back to the forum (for select cases).
To achieve the results I want out of the gallery I will have to use the gallery package as a reference and basically remake it without copyright infringing upon or voiding the current gallery system…that isn’t too bad or hard…but here is where things get icky.
For the new system to work with my “perfect” vision…I will need to fully integrate it into the forum system. Where this is an issue is in 2 things. First do we void our warranty, support or copyright infringe upon the forum system if we mod it? Second when we go to upgrade the forum to the latest version…will our gallery still work :/
The answer to the first one is no, they fully support modding of their product as long as you are stating it is a “plug-in” and not claiming the board as your own work. Ok not much of an issue.
The second is maybe, if they change major functions, database structures or the upgrade refreshes (over writes the old one) the code for the forum then we have to reapply all the changes for the gallery to still function.
That would require loads of work each time we upgrade and the owner is going to want to upgrade! The alternative would be to custom write the forum as well and well lets just say that isn’t an option…at all.
On to blurred vision, lol.
Basically I write the gallery to be a separate system much like it is now…I just have to write the gallery pages and tables to calculate much of the same information as the forum already has and then send updates to the gallery database…leaving as much as possible in the gallery system…this makes things a bit harder but it will still work. I will still need to update the main forum tables but not have to touch the code behind the pages.
I dunno, we will see how it goes… till then more free falling now the rabbit hole.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
The project that just won’t go away.
Just a little upset right now, I have taken 2 days of vacation to finish up the server installation project I have been working on and unfortunitly I still have more work to do on it. So another half of day of vacation is what I am bound for. What a sucky way to spend you vacation, I mean thus far I have spent 70 + hours of my time for chump change (not even minimum wage at this point) and they have the audacity to go behind my back and get a quote for installing wireless. THEN ask me if that is a good deal, when that is what they originally wanted me to do for them and THEY decided not to do, what audacity. I should have let them pay the additional 500 bucks to get it done (I did it in under 1 minute, free of charge). It is just such a smack to my face to have them place so little confidence in me when all the problems I have had were hardware/software related and not my ignorance. I just want this to be done.
Anyway, on to something else…I have decided that I must sell my anime collection. 4000+ dollars worth of stuff…cries. But I have no choice, what is the point of keeping things that I may never watch again when I can sell them and get some kind of return for it? So after looking at Ebay and some other sites that actually buy your used DVD’s (for next to nothing I might add <_<) it was determined Amazon is my friend. I knew I wasn’t going to get what I paid for them and there is the risk no one will buy them but what was it going to hurt to try?
So Amazon lets me set the price allowing me to see what others have theirs listed at and all for a 15% fee at time of sale. They give you 2.98 per listing worth of shipping credit, no big deal but that is about the average shipping costs for USPS. After listing every thing in my collection, it all comes to 2,800 retail or 2,600ish take home (before actual shipping charges). So I might wind up with about 2 grand all said and done. Not bad, but will they sale? After 8 days I have had 18 orders as follows:
Total Payments Received: USD 373.62
Total Payments Canceled: USD 35.98
Total Payment Fees: USD -88.30
Grand Total: USD 321.30
Not bad at all and hopefully the rest will sale just the same. If you are interested here is my storefront! Please help a brother out? lol
My Amazon Storefront
Anyway, on to something else…I have decided that I must sell my anime collection. 4000+ dollars worth of stuff…cries. But I have no choice, what is the point of keeping things that I may never watch again when I can sell them and get some kind of return for it? So after looking at Ebay and some other sites that actually buy your used DVD’s (for next to nothing I might add <_<) it was determined Amazon is my friend. I knew I wasn’t going to get what I paid for them and there is the risk no one will buy them but what was it going to hurt to try?
So Amazon lets me set the price allowing me to see what others have theirs listed at and all for a 15% fee at time of sale. They give you 2.98 per listing worth of shipping credit, no big deal but that is about the average shipping costs for USPS. After listing every thing in my collection, it all comes to 2,800 retail or 2,600ish take home (before actual shipping charges). So I might wind up with about 2 grand all said and done. Not bad, but will they sale? After 8 days I have had 18 orders as follows:
Total Payments Received: USD 373.62
Total Payments Canceled: USD 35.98
Total Payment Fees: USD -88.30
Grand Total: USD 321.30
Not bad at all and hopefully the rest will sale just the same. If you are interested here is my storefront! Please help a brother out? lol
My Amazon Storefront
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Evolution
Evolution is an interesting concept…it doesn’t mean the evolving of one organism into completely different one all at once. But it has the implication that one thing progressively changes towards something else little by little. Like a metamorphoses or mutation (mutation doesn’t have a negative connotation even though that is what people normally associated with the term) from a caterpillar into a butterfly. While that is a more drastic change, most evolutionary changes are very minute and fairly unnoticeable until there are enough of them to be seen. I don’t believe the evolutionary theory on the scale Darwin had it but it really makes one think about how we evolve in the various aspects of our lives.
I had always viewed my life in a futuristic tense where all these wonderful things were going to happen in the far off distance, marriage, a house, children of my own…all sometime later...like in 3-4 years. First it was when I am in my 20’s…then it was when I finish college. Now, 25 and finished with college, I still feel that way; like I am still waiting for my life to happen, but I am also rational enough to think…if not now…when? From that, I have realized that while I have worked towards those things, I have given them the unrealistic expectation that they are just going to fall in my lap and thus not capitalized on my life. Life is short, the last 10 years have seemed like moments and it isn’t getting any better.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not running out to buy a house or anything but I am going to work harder then ever to achieve more in my life. Not just the big things like buying the house, however those goals are there, but the little things that we don’t normally focus on as well. A better job, getting out of debt having the things I want, marriage, and even a house are all newly evaluated. Just where to place them? Which lends the question…where is my evolution taking me…yep I am now a monkey <_<
I had always viewed my life in a futuristic tense where all these wonderful things were going to happen in the far off distance, marriage, a house, children of my own…all sometime later...like in 3-4 years. First it was when I am in my 20’s…then it was when I finish college. Now, 25 and finished with college, I still feel that way; like I am still waiting for my life to happen, but I am also rational enough to think…if not now…when? From that, I have realized that while I have worked towards those things, I have given them the unrealistic expectation that they are just going to fall in my lap and thus not capitalized on my life. Life is short, the last 10 years have seemed like moments and it isn’t getting any better.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not running out to buy a house or anything but I am going to work harder then ever to achieve more in my life. Not just the big things like buying the house, however those goals are there, but the little things that we don’t normally focus on as well. A better job, getting out of debt having the things I want, marriage, and even a house are all newly evaluated. Just where to place them? Which lends the question…where is my evolution taking me…yep I am now a monkey <_<
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Death Bed
Well it has been a while…did you miss me? I have been very sick here lately. Friday I started feeling bad after lunch and with only 4 or so hours till I went home I figured I would just tough it out. I am normally not the type of person that gets hot or cold just sitting there at my desk but I started getting colder and colder. To the point I got up and went outside to warm back up (Is in the 90’s here) I didn’t think much about it till about time for me to go home. The fingers on my right hand started going numb O_O
Knowing that when your body gets cold blood circulation to your extremities becomes limited I figured I would drive home and see if it got better by then, if not I was off to the hospital. I drove all the way home with no AC in my 100+ something car…still coldish. My hand did regain feeling but I knew I was bad sick (temp was only 101.3 but I was floored) I curled up in my bed under several blankets and with several layers of clothes x_x
After taking a lot of drugs and staying in bed all weekend (thus missing my Carowinds trip U_U) I at least got my temperature broke. But then my sinuses where clogged up, so I took sinus medicine. That cleared my sinus up but it moved to my chest (where a 300 lbs fat man has been sitting all week) and now I have a cough that feels like I am tossing my lungs out of my chest and yanking them back in every 30 seconds. s_s
So I am going to the doctor today (I hate doctors) mainly because I have been sick like this 3 times this year and normally I only get sick once…I just need to get it all out of my system.
On a side note 100 unique visitors!!! I am impressed that many people actually found my random craziness…I hope that all didn’t go insane.
Laterz
Knowing that when your body gets cold blood circulation to your extremities becomes limited I figured I would drive home and see if it got better by then, if not I was off to the hospital. I drove all the way home with no AC in my 100+ something car…still coldish. My hand did regain feeling but I knew I was bad sick (temp was only 101.3 but I was floored) I curled up in my bed under several blankets and with several layers of clothes x_x
After taking a lot of drugs and staying in bed all weekend (thus missing my Carowinds trip U_U) I at least got my temperature broke. But then my sinuses where clogged up, so I took sinus medicine. That cleared my sinus up but it moved to my chest (where a 300 lbs fat man has been sitting all week) and now I have a cough that feels like I am tossing my lungs out of my chest and yanking them back in every 30 seconds. s_s
So I am going to the doctor today (I hate doctors) mainly because I have been sick like this 3 times this year and normally I only get sick once…I just need to get it all out of my system.
On a side note 100 unique visitors!!! I am impressed that many people actually found my random craziness…I hope that all didn’t go insane.
Laterz
Monday, July 30, 2007
Purple Haze
Yes a Jimi Hendrix reference is much needed for the day I am having. While I am still a few years away from the 27 club, I am starting to feel like that is where I am heading (tis kidding). With my job I have to be on “call” for 1 week every couple of months and well this week has been rough already. To the point I am so far behind I am not sure I will be able to catch up. Furthermore the calls just keep coming in. Why me?
Other then that I am suppose to go to Carowind’s this weekend with my most perfect girlfriend and some family members. Unfortunately my server may come in before then and I will be stuck trying to get it up and running for this company (why did I volunteer for this project again?). I need the break but I need to be done with this project more. BLAH!
Overall I can't say it all is too bad...but then again the song I am currently listening to...Born Under a Bad Sign...Jimi Hendrix.... Omen? 0_0
Other then that I am suppose to go to Carowind’s this weekend with my most perfect girlfriend and some family members. Unfortunately my server may come in before then and I will be stuck trying to get it up and running for this company (why did I volunteer for this project again?). I need the break but I need to be done with this project more. BLAH!
Overall I can't say it all is too bad...but then again the song I am currently listening to...Born Under a Bad Sign...Jimi Hendrix.... Omen? 0_0
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The perfect woman
Well I want you all to know about the most perfect woman in the universe…and guess what…she is all mine :p gravel in envy! Yes I do have the most perfect, beautiful and precious little woman on the face of the planet. She is my happiness, my raison d'être (reason for living) and there is nothing in this world that I wouldn’t do or give for her. I could sit here and go on for hours about how wonderful she is and never touch the tip of the iceberg. She simply is the best and I has her! ALL MINE ;) (and I don’t share). So now I must list some of the wonderful things she does for me!
• Loads of sweet kisses
• Bountiful amounts of warm hugs
• Numerous splendid back scratches <-- heaven
• Vast and vibrant conversations
• Millions of awe inspiring glances (and stares)
• Playful chases <-- likes to be chased ;)
• Softest pillow in the universe
• Perfect travel companion
• Continuous spirit up lifter
• Confidence builder extraordinaire
• Other unmentionable but very pleasant pleasure giving things
• Loves the unlovable (me) unconditionally and without fail
I have no idea how I lived so long without her in my life and now I know that I could not bear this life without her; she is mine and mine alone. I shall keep her and never let go!
• Loads of sweet kisses
• Bountiful amounts of warm hugs
• Numerous splendid back scratches <-- heaven
• Vast and vibrant conversations
• Millions of awe inspiring glances (and stares)
• Playful chases <-- likes to be chased ;)
• Softest pillow in the universe
• Perfect travel companion
• Continuous spirit up lifter
• Confidence builder extraordinaire
• Other unmentionable but very pleasant pleasure giving things
• Loves the unlovable (me) unconditionally and without fail
I have no idea how I lived so long without her in my life and now I know that I could not bear this life without her; she is mine and mine alone. I shall keep her and never let go!
Monday, July 23, 2007
My Axe wishlist…
Well as you all know I am trying to learn how to play the guitar again…hopefully I will actually learn it this time ;) Anyway, much to the displeasure of my girlfriend I have been looking at new axes!!! Not that I am actually going to buy one (her fear)…but it is nice to figure out what you want so that maybe one day you can buy your dream (like when I ever learn to play it)?
Even though my current axes aren’t anything at all to write home about that doesn’t mean I am not pretty particular in the guitar I would want ^_^ They have to have the right blend of solid sound and good looks. So I figured I would look at the axes from a few different places, the axes I have been looking at are (from price low to high):
Schecter Hellraiser C-1 FR Electric Guitar
Cheapest price found: $799.99
List Price: $1,149.00
Schecter is an up and coming force in the guitar world. As the most price effective guitar maker in the batch I am looking at, they don’t compromise quality or sound just because they are the low ball in the price market. I have read several hundred reviews from different independent sellers who all rank the guitar a steal for the price. As well a personal friend of mine (who can tear up a guitar) who works in a guitar store suggested that brand to me over some of the more expensive axes he sales.
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster HSS Electric Guitar
Cheapest price found: $1,199.99
List Price: $1,714.27
Fender is a staple in the industry and the Strat produces legendary sounds, this particular model caught my eye and all of the reviews for it are equally as impressive. Granted you take most reviews with a grain of salt but still this one has a lot of positive feedback. Slightly higher priced then the Schecter and it begs the question of if I would be paying for the name, but it would still be highly considered.
Gibson Les Paul Standard Double Cut Plus Electric Guitar
Cheapest price found: $1,549.00
List Price: $2,388.00
The most expensive of the group but then again the Gibson line of guitars are arguable the best rock guitars on the planet. I never care for the SG model (even if Angus Young plays one) and of the Les Paul’s this one was my favorite both in sound (you can here the guitar played on Gibson website) and in looks. It doesn’t have the range of features the other Les Paul’s might but it is a tight package none the less.
So there you have it, My Axe wishlist, lol.
On a side note, woot 50 unique visitors…unfortunately now there are at least 50 crazy people in the world (after reading my blog I am positive I drove them insane) ;)
Even though my current axes aren’t anything at all to write home about that doesn’t mean I am not pretty particular in the guitar I would want ^_^ They have to have the right blend of solid sound and good looks. So I figured I would look at the axes from a few different places, the axes I have been looking at are (from price low to high):
Schecter Hellraiser C-1 FR Electric Guitar
Cheapest price found: $799.99
List Price: $1,149.00
Schecter is an up and coming force in the guitar world. As the most price effective guitar maker in the batch I am looking at, they don’t compromise quality or sound just because they are the low ball in the price market. I have read several hundred reviews from different independent sellers who all rank the guitar a steal for the price. As well a personal friend of mine (who can tear up a guitar) who works in a guitar store suggested that brand to me over some of the more expensive axes he sales.
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster HSS Electric Guitar
Cheapest price found: $1,199.99
List Price: $1,714.27
Fender is a staple in the industry and the Strat produces legendary sounds, this particular model caught my eye and all of the reviews for it are equally as impressive. Granted you take most reviews with a grain of salt but still this one has a lot of positive feedback. Slightly higher priced then the Schecter and it begs the question of if I would be paying for the name, but it would still be highly considered.
Gibson Les Paul Standard Double Cut Plus Electric Guitar
Cheapest price found: $1,549.00
List Price: $2,388.00
The most expensive of the group but then again the Gibson line of guitars are arguable the best rock guitars on the planet. I never care for the SG model (even if Angus Young plays one) and of the Les Paul’s this one was my favorite both in sound (you can here the guitar played on Gibson website) and in looks. It doesn’t have the range of features the other Les Paul’s might but it is a tight package none the less.
So there you have it, My Axe wishlist, lol.
On a side note, woot 50 unique visitors…unfortunately now there are at least 50 crazy people in the world (after reading my blog I am positive I drove them insane) ;)
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Bad Day
There is a song by a comedian named Paul Thorn that plays here locally, it goes along the lines of a guy having a bad day…and I mean everything goes wrong. So to make him feel better his chorus is “It’s a bad day, it’s a great day to kick somebody’s @$$” That is how I am feeling right now. Nothing has gone right for me. First I get the new parts in for the server project and after failure to get it working and several hours of tech support I decided I have had enough and I am sending the thing back for them to fix and install the OS. O_O mood was not good.
Then I tried to play the guitar, my fingers decided they wanted to hurt from the start and so I said well…I need new strings anyway let me just change them and I will deal with the pain later. Upon trying to take the bridge pins out I break one (hey they are like 30 years old so not all my fault) but that meant I couldn’t play my guitar. U_U mood reaches very low levels.
She then calls me back to ask me to see her for supper, but I have already made plans with my 2 best friends to go fishing so I had to say no… however it may thunderstorm this afternoon. So it could be an option but either way I don’t like having to turn my girlfriend down. It is just that I really need the relief of hanging with my friends (who I haven’t seen in months) and doing some fishing so her asking and I having to say no really didn’t help things. (I swear if something goes wrong with my fishing…Hammer really REALLY loves fishing…I will…..). x_x mood starts digging a deep deep hole.
Finally, remembered that I forgot to account for 2 bills that are direct draw from checking account, both posting yesterday…so I over drafted my account…which I have overdraft protection that kicks and only costs me 10 bucks….but still you know life just sucks sometimes. X_X mood is somewhere in china right now.
Blah.
Then I tried to play the guitar, my fingers decided they wanted to hurt from the start and so I said well…I need new strings anyway let me just change them and I will deal with the pain later. Upon trying to take the bridge pins out I break one (hey they are like 30 years old so not all my fault) but that meant I couldn’t play my guitar. U_U mood reaches very low levels.
She then calls me back to ask me to see her for supper, but I have already made plans with my 2 best friends to go fishing so I had to say no… however it may thunderstorm this afternoon. So it could be an option but either way I don’t like having to turn my girlfriend down. It is just that I really need the relief of hanging with my friends (who I haven’t seen in months) and doing some fishing so her asking and I having to say no really didn’t help things. (I swear if something goes wrong with my fishing…Hammer really REALLY loves fishing…I will…..). x_x mood starts digging a deep deep hole.
Finally, remembered that I forgot to account for 2 bills that are direct draw from checking account, both posting yesterday…so I over drafted my account…which I have overdraft protection that kicks and only costs me 10 bucks….but still you know life just sucks sometimes. X_X mood is somewhere in china right now.
Blah.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
A new leaf or self improvement?
Life is ever changing and those who sit still let life pass them by. I don’t want that nor do I intend on failing to achieving the things I want. I am really not one to quit things very easily, especially if it is a goal or dream of mine. So I have decided to do a few things.
First I want to start a Bible study with my girlfriend. I think it is important in any relationship to grow together and that would also include doing so in our relationship with God. So Bible study it is, hopefully it will go well and we can learn from each other ;)
Secondly I have decided to learn how to play the guitar…yet again. This is difficult task as I have no musical ability, but I figure if I play a little everyday then I will eventually pick it up…or at least I can die with no regret to having at least given it my best effort to do so.
Can’t climb a mountain when you get winded over a mole hole so I figure I will try to learn the basic chords (A, C, G, F, E) playing each until I get them down, then I will factor in changing between them until I can change between them at random. Hopefully I will get to the point I can do this fairly quickly in a few months. At least enough that I can play a basic song or two.
Next is my web design, I love web design and I want to grow my ability in such. PHP, CSS and dynamic insertion are my short term goals to learn, and then I want to build a gallery system with them. I figure this gives me a goal and tools to learn in achieving those goals.
Next is debt management, this year I have done very well in managing my debt and assets from the aspect of keeping track of them. I now need to work harder at reducing my debt and increasing assets. This is really hard for me as I am an impulse buyer (just ask my girlfriend why I am not allowed to go to the grocery store, lol) and due to college/stupidity I have a rather large hole to work out of :(
Then there is working out, nothing serious just getting in shape. Push ups, sit ups and the like are easy non-time consuming activities you can do at home and have no excuse for not doing. So I am going to start!
Last is a time management schedule, you can’t achieve the world without knowing how long you have to do things in. Don’t get me wrong, it is a loose thing but at least it will help give me some structure. Even if I don’t follow it, if it makes me more self conscious about time and what I am doing with it then I should at least gain that.
You can call it what you want. New leaf, self improvement whatever but I find that people that only look at their state of being and try to change things once a year get too caught up in the aspects of everyday life and thus fail their goals. I am trying to move to a state of continuous improvement and eventually look at how I can better myself everyday. Little changes go a long ways in life so why not make them?
Wish me luck ;)
First I want to start a Bible study with my girlfriend. I think it is important in any relationship to grow together and that would also include doing so in our relationship with God. So Bible study it is, hopefully it will go well and we can learn from each other ;)
Secondly I have decided to learn how to play the guitar…yet again. This is difficult task as I have no musical ability, but I figure if I play a little everyday then I will eventually pick it up…or at least I can die with no regret to having at least given it my best effort to do so.
Can’t climb a mountain when you get winded over a mole hole so I figure I will try to learn the basic chords (A, C, G, F, E) playing each until I get them down, then I will factor in changing between them until I can change between them at random. Hopefully I will get to the point I can do this fairly quickly in a few months. At least enough that I can play a basic song or two.
Next is my web design, I love web design and I want to grow my ability in such. PHP, CSS and dynamic insertion are my short term goals to learn, and then I want to build a gallery system with them. I figure this gives me a goal and tools to learn in achieving those goals.
Next is debt management, this year I have done very well in managing my debt and assets from the aspect of keeping track of them. I now need to work harder at reducing my debt and increasing assets. This is really hard for me as I am an impulse buyer (just ask my girlfriend why I am not allowed to go to the grocery store, lol) and due to college/stupidity I have a rather large hole to work out of :(
Then there is working out, nothing serious just getting in shape. Push ups, sit ups and the like are easy non-time consuming activities you can do at home and have no excuse for not doing. So I am going to start!
Last is a time management schedule, you can’t achieve the world without knowing how long you have to do things in. Don’t get me wrong, it is a loose thing but at least it will help give me some structure. Even if I don’t follow it, if it makes me more self conscious about time and what I am doing with it then I should at least gain that.
You can call it what you want. New leaf, self improvement whatever but I find that people that only look at their state of being and try to change things once a year get too caught up in the aspects of everyday life and thus fail their goals. I am trying to move to a state of continuous improvement and eventually look at how I can better myself everyday. Little changes go a long ways in life so why not make them?
Wish me luck ;)
Friday, July 13, 2007
Parlez-vous le français?
J'ai étudié le français pendant trois semestres et je ne peux pas me rappeler une chose!
(I studied French for 3 semesters and I can not remember a thing!)
My girlfriend and I went to mountains and the shops in Boone last weekend where we found a little French store. My girlfriend then preceeded to give me a hard time because I spoke to the store owner in French. Nothing hard just your basic Bonjour, comment-allez vous aujourd'hui? (Hello, how are you today) Of which he respondeded bien, merci beaucoup (well, thank you very much). That was the extent of the conversation and it lead her to poke fun at me <_<
She is taking her second semester of French and it shames me to say that while I did study french for 3 semesters in colloge I really don’t remember it like I should. Much less ever hope to be fluent. This did however spark my interest into a popular phrase in French (at least one everybody in english knows) and what it really means is very interetsing.
sacrebleu or sacredieu
Quote from Wikipedia
“Sacrebleu is an old French profanity, meant as a cry of surprise or anger. It would be equivalent to gosh or by Jove. Most likely, it comes from old blasphemous curses relating to God, used from the late Middle-Age (some are attested as early as the 12th century) to the 14th at the latest, with many variants: morbleu or mordieu, corbleu, palsambleu, jarnidieu, tudieu, respectively standing for mort [de] Dieu (God's death), corps [de] Dieu (God's body), par le sang [de] Dieu (by God's blood, the two latters possibly referring to the Eucharistic bread and wine), je renie Dieu (I deny God), tue Dieu (kill God)... Those curses may be compared to the archaic English [God']sdeath, sblood, struth or zounds (God's wounds). Thus it would be in modern French je sacre par Dieu and in English I curse by God. They were considered so offensive that Dieu was sublimated into the neutral syllable bleu, which sounds similar and literally means "blue", but there may not be any etymological connection.”
Granted the article did go one to say it is most commonly used in a humorous manner these days, I just found it interetsing that it was actually a phrase of sacrulage.
Runs off to look at other old phrases and their respective means.
(I studied French for 3 semesters and I can not remember a thing!)
My girlfriend and I went to mountains and the shops in Boone last weekend where we found a little French store. My girlfriend then preceeded to give me a hard time because I spoke to the store owner in French. Nothing hard just your basic Bonjour, comment-allez vous aujourd'hui? (Hello, how are you today) Of which he respondeded bien, merci beaucoup (well, thank you very much). That was the extent of the conversation and it lead her to poke fun at me <_<
She is taking her second semester of French and it shames me to say that while I did study french for 3 semesters in colloge I really don’t remember it like I should. Much less ever hope to be fluent. This did however spark my interest into a popular phrase in French (at least one everybody in english knows) and what it really means is very interetsing.
sacrebleu or sacredieu
Quote from Wikipedia
“Sacrebleu is an old French profanity, meant as a cry of surprise or anger. It would be equivalent to gosh or by Jove. Most likely, it comes from old blasphemous curses relating to God, used from the late Middle-Age (some are attested as early as the 12th century) to the 14th at the latest, with many variants: morbleu or mordieu, corbleu, palsambleu, jarnidieu, tudieu, respectively standing for mort [de] Dieu (God's death), corps [de] Dieu (God's body), par le sang [de] Dieu (by God's blood, the two latters possibly referring to the Eucharistic bread and wine), je renie Dieu (I deny God), tue Dieu (kill God)... Those curses may be compared to the archaic English [God']sdeath, sblood, struth or zounds (God's wounds). Thus it would be in modern French je sacre par Dieu and in English I curse by God. They were considered so offensive that Dieu was sublimated into the neutral syllable bleu, which sounds similar and literally means "blue", but there may not be any etymological connection.”
Granted the article did go one to say it is most commonly used in a humorous manner these days, I just found it interetsing that it was actually a phrase of sacrulage.
Runs off to look at other old phrases and their respective means.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Down the rabbit hole
Life is much like falling down the preverbal rabbit hole as it turns out this, has been a wild and out of control week. I got the server manufacturer to send me a new motherboard (but I had to pay to upgrade to a server class one <_<) and a new DVD burner as it turns out it was defective too. Hopefully it will arrive sometime next week so I can hook everything up and be done with this project until then…blah with it.
I am also trying to get out of debt (paying for college wasn’t easy) and while I started off good this year I have, overall, been failing miserably. I figured out that I could transfer my debt to 0% credit cards and at least save in interest. All was going good with it until I had a mishap where I fat fingered an account # and bam it was rejected. The credit card company took its sweet time in letting me know and thus I missed my due date.
I scheduled the payment like 15 days before the due date and still they won’t work with me. The new 8% rate isn’t bad, it is just the principal that this really wasn’t a late payment (it was a fluke). I then missed another payment due date because to the company changed my date to 7 days earlier then the last statement x_x and given how darn busy I have been here lately I having had time to check my statement…life is so not fair. Anyway there goes another 0% interest card.
I feel like I need to stop having a life for about a year so I can achieve my goal. Seriously stop buying anything, but then what? How do I go on living like that? Maybe I could sell off my stuff. I could sell my guns and while that would be easy to do, I HATE parting with my stuff… I have a nice anime collection but I know absolutely no one who would be interested in buying it…back to hating to sell my stuff.
At least with the anime collection being gone my girlfriend would be happy... I just feel so frustrated at life, the more I try the less I succeed and all the while it just passes me by. I look at people like Paris Hilton who is so darn privileged and does noting to deserve it. When was the last time she had to work for something?
I just want some consistency and stability in my life and for once to have the things I work so hard for to actually start paying off for me. Whatever, there is no point in being upset about things you can’t change.
For now I will continue my freefall down the rabbit hole.
I am also trying to get out of debt (paying for college wasn’t easy) and while I started off good this year I have, overall, been failing miserably. I figured out that I could transfer my debt to 0% credit cards and at least save in interest. All was going good with it until I had a mishap where I fat fingered an account # and bam it was rejected. The credit card company took its sweet time in letting me know and thus I missed my due date.
I scheduled the payment like 15 days before the due date and still they won’t work with me. The new 8% rate isn’t bad, it is just the principal that this really wasn’t a late payment (it was a fluke). I then missed another payment due date because to the company changed my date to 7 days earlier then the last statement x_x and given how darn busy I have been here lately I having had time to check my statement…life is so not fair. Anyway there goes another 0% interest card.
I feel like I need to stop having a life for about a year so I can achieve my goal. Seriously stop buying anything, but then what? How do I go on living like that? Maybe I could sell off my stuff. I could sell my guns and while that would be easy to do, I HATE parting with my stuff… I have a nice anime collection but I know absolutely no one who would be interested in buying it…back to hating to sell my stuff.
At least with the anime collection being gone my girlfriend would be happy... I just feel so frustrated at life, the more I try the less I succeed and all the while it just passes me by. I look at people like Paris Hilton who is so darn privileged and does noting to deserve it. When was the last time she had to work for something?
I just want some consistency and stability in my life and for once to have the things I work so hard for to actually start paying off for me. Whatever, there is no point in being upset about things you can’t change.
For now I will continue my freefall down the rabbit hole.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Tablet Mayhem
Well I recently bought a Wacom Graphire4 6x8 USB Tablet with Pen and Mouse (Silver) to use with the graphic design that I do, I knew that the Wacoms’ where the best on the market but having little experience with them I decided to try out one of the lower end models.
The detailed specs for the model I bought are as follows:
- Two programmable ExpressKeys for convenient mouse clicks and keyboard shortcuts plus a handy scroll wheel
- Integrated pen compartment and a separate pen stand for two great ways to keep your pen handy
- Transparent photo frame for easy personalization with photos and artwork (fun samples and template included)
- USB connection for quick installation
- Graphire4 Pen and Eraser has 512 levels of pressure sensitivity for natural brush control
- Graphire4 Pen and Eraser has patented cordless, battery-free technology for a natural feel and superior performance
- Graphire4 Pen has 2 programmable buttons right at your fingertips
- Graphire4 Pen features pressure-sensitive eraser for easy fixes
- Patented cordless, battery-free technology means mouse is entirely hassle-free
- Scrolling fingerwheel for easy navigation—also functions as a third programmable button
- No ball to gum up, so it always moves smoothly
Sounds great right? Wrong!!!
The 6x8 area on the tablet corresponds to your whole screen, not just the surface area of the window for the program you are using to draw items in. That made the drawing area much smaller then the already small 6x8 drawing area on the tablet. :(
Given what you are drawing shows up on the screen and not where you are drawing on the tablet surface area you can’t look at the drawing like you normally would. That is a difficult transition for a typical artist but not too bad after some practice.
Still there where other issues.
The response time was about a second off and sometimes was a little jerky (not cool for GFX design) this made it very hard to draw things. Moreover when you drew something on say a normal piece of drawing paper and then tried to use the tablet to “trace” the stokes…you got a very different result. I wasn’t very happy with this product and have since returned it.
I think I would like to try the Cintiq model as the image is on the tablet itself and it boasters a much better response time / sensitivity. But who has that kind of dough lying around? Maybe I can find a GFX store that allows you to try out products?
You can check the Cintiq out here:
http://www.wacom.com/cintiq/
Till next time, Blah. lol
Monday, July 9, 2007
Stupid People
I recently started a network installation project for a company my uncle works for and have had nothing but problems (none of which has been my fault, either). Turns out the server manufacture is full of IDIOTS! I hate stupid people, granted technology isn’t the easiest of things but you would think people would at least be smart enough to check things out first. Basically I cannot install the operating system or anything else onto the server I bought due to the fact they put incompatible hardware in it. I spent a lot of time (including a day of vacation) trying to get the setup complete but to no avail.
The motherboard is an Intel DQ956GF Desktop motherboard and not suppose to be used for servers as it is designed for...go figure, Desktop PC’s. Per Intel’s website the chipset doesn’t even support the XEON class of processors.
Here is the link to the supported processors for the DQ956GF:
http://support.intel.com/support/motherboards/desktop/dq965gf/sb/CS-025970.htm
Just because they use the same socket doesn’t mean that it will work to the fullest of its potential. A perfect example of this is because it is a Desktop motherboard the device drivers for the board aren’t designed for the OS I am using, hence why I can't install them. I bought a SERVER not a desktop PC; it should come with Server compatible hardware IMO.
I mean Intel has a server class of boards for a reason! The motherboard needs to be a S3000AH class per Intel. This offers not only support for the processor but support for device drivers for SERVER operating systems. I sent the server manufacture an email but as of yet no response. I plan on calling them tonight, wish me luck :(
The motherboard is an Intel DQ956GF Desktop motherboard and not suppose to be used for servers as it is designed for...go figure, Desktop PC’s. Per Intel’s website the chipset doesn’t even support the XEON class of processors.
Here is the link to the supported processors for the DQ956GF:
http://support.intel.com/support/motherboards/desktop/dq965gf/sb/CS-025970.htm
Just because they use the same socket doesn’t mean that it will work to the fullest of its potential. A perfect example of this is because it is a Desktop motherboard the device drivers for the board aren’t designed for the OS I am using, hence why I can't install them. I bought a SERVER not a desktop PC; it should come with Server compatible hardware IMO.
I mean Intel has a server class of boards for a reason! The motherboard needs to be a S3000AH class per Intel. This offers not only support for the processor but support for device drivers for SERVER operating systems. I sent the server manufacture an email but as of yet no response. I plan on calling them tonight, wish me luck :(
Sunday, June 24, 2007
The Beginning
What can I say, welcome to my blog ^_^ !!! The place my randomness is only shadowed by the diverseness of the illusion that is my life. Frankly I feel very much that life is a transcended form of our imagination's own delusion. This may be best summed up by one of my favorite poems:
A Dream Within A Dream
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
By Edgar Allan Poe
Again, welcome to my wonderland!
A Dream Within A Dream
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
By Edgar Allan Poe
Again, welcome to my wonderland!
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