My Unattainable Nirvana

Well, I have continued my sickly state of being this year with yet another round of something that just won’t go away (Is very tired of being sick). Anyway, I have been into a lot lately, I finished an old wallpaper and just need to submit it around but I haven’t had the time. I also did another vector, Ulquiorra Schiffer from Bleach. I so love that anime! The character design is just right up my alley. It makes me happy as I am starting to get the hang of things and really feel like I am making some ground way in the world of graphic design.

Anyway I also have been working on the gallery system but it is just one problem after another. Mainly with the menu, I keep getting it to the point I think I am done and very happy with it but then I notice some other little quirk and it is back to the drawing board. At this rate I will never finish it. None the less I am learning and getting good practice at it. I need to ask the site owner how to get the MySql database installed on the server so I can start the coding aspect of things. But soon enough, egh?

My personal finances aren’t getting any better, not that I am drowning…just not making it to the point of getting out of debt like I would like to. So back to a new job with better pay! But it is hard looking for a better paying job, especially when I feel I need much more experience than I currently have. Life is just blah sometimes. But I am going to do a phone interview today so maybe something good will come out of it. Problem is that it is another finance job and I am looking to get OUT of the finance world…>_<

Whatever, my post is entitled “My Unattainable Nirvana” since I just have this feeling Nirvana is much too far away and unattainable at the moment. Really I am feeling like my perfect state of being is just never going to happen. I am never going to reach where I want to be…does that make me stupid for trying? Sometimes I think so.

Falling down the rabbit hole with weights on my back.